Not a great day today. I'll keep this short, as I really am not feeling like going into great detail and I am hoping that tomorrow will be better. Today was two sessions:
1) the support group. I have now been to five of these and each f them is different. Today there were a variety of experiences/stories. A woman from California was waiting on a heart and liver transplant, a man from NC had his transplant and high dose chemo 4 years ago and was doing great, another man had just localised impact in his stomach. Many different stories, but generally all good ones. So we walked out of that feeling good about these stories.
2) met with the Boston Medical cardiologist (not the one we saw two weeks ago). To be brutally honest, neither Chris or I like this guy, and we think it is more than just the message he gives. He has the sympathy of a rock and the heart of a piece of cold steel - just brutal. So here the news was not as positive as we were hoping for. There is continued decline in Chris' heart function, specifically her ejection fraction which is a measure of pumping effectiveness. There are some "biomarkers" or measurements of heart effectiveness that were not as good as they were previously. It was not a positive story and Chris and I walked out about as low as we have felt in the last 3-4 months. Tomorrow we will get the larger picture from the doctor we trust the most, but today was a huge stab in the back.
Despite the heart results, Chris continues to feel great. She honestly has a great attitude, has alot of energy, and is very positive. I think how she feels trumps what the chemical indicators show, but for me, it has been a very tough day. I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.